Mistakes
by scoobydoofan-12
Summary: This is a James centered story about how James wants a daughter and all of his mistakes. Just to let you know, I am bad at writing summaries and the story is a lot better, believe me. Has Lily and James romance and slight James and OC romance. Enjoy!


**I know that I haven't posted my other story –My Loving Solider- lately, but I have this already written, so I just thought I might as well post it. It is pretty long, I guess. Well, I know for sure that it isn't short. This is a James centered story, but it sort of does have LilyJames romance if any at all. It does have a slight JamesOC. Um, what else did I want to put in here? Oh, yeah! I want to say that it is sad, and death is in this story. I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in this story. Well actually, I do own Nancy, Michelle, Ashley, and Tara. I just made them up. I hope you like this story! It takes place in James's 7****th**** year at Hogwarts, and This story is in James's POV. Enjoy!**

**Mistakes**

For all of my life, I have always wanted a daughter. There is no way I would let my friends know that, especially Sirius. He would say that I am a sissy boy for wanting a girl instead of a boy. Well, that's what he had told Frank Longbottom. Sirius had said that he wants a boy, because he wants to take his son to a quidditch match and he wants his son to be a quidditch prodigy. He also said that having a girl would not be as fun. I also know who I wanted to be the mother of my daughter to be also.

Her name is Lily, who is the love of my life and who also hates my guts. The only reason she hates me is because of who I used to be. She has never seen how much I have changed by pranking less often and the pranks are less severe than they used to be. I have even stopped asking her out so often, which I don't know if she likes it or not. When I have asked her out, she would always tell me something along the lines to "shove off Potter". Now that I have stopped, she longingly looks at me, like she _wants _me to ask her out. If any guy actually understands her, please come to me and tell me, because I do not understand her one bit. I have no idea why she won't see that I have changed all for her. 

One day, I guess I was just so lucky. This was one day that I actually asked her out, to see what she might say. So, I walked up to her out by the lake and asked her out once more. No matter what she says, I will not ask her again. I have been asking her out for 4 years, and if she hates me so much that she doesn't want to go out with me, I won't force her. It's our last year for goodness sakes! Like I said before, if she says no, I will stop asking her out for all of her life, and I will leave her alone. If she says yes, though, then I will make it worth her while. I had told her that and she had started to cry. I wanted to sight impatiently. What have I done again? I must have done something to make her cry. She told me that that was so sweet, and she would go out with me. I smiled like a fool and took her in my arms and spun her around. That was one of my happiest days of my life.

After about 5 or 6 months since we have been dating- it was March and I had asked her out in September, so it was 6 months- when _she _had happened. _She _is the new girl from Beauxbatons. _Her _name is Nancy Pierre.

Nancy had bleach, blond hair that went down all the way to her waist. She had blue eyes that sparkled, but she was nothing compared to Lily. She was tall, about Sirius's height, and she had high cheekbones. She was skinny, a little _too _skinny, like she hadn't eaten in days. 

I had made my first mistake, and she was the reason why. I had made a mistake that I could not take back or make better, no matter how hard I tried. I had cheated on Lily with Nancy! I had slept with Nancy.

It was never supposed to happen, honest! Dumbledore told me to show Nancy around the school, because she had no idea how to get around. Lily thought that was a brilliant idea and was sweet, and she practically ordered me to go, and I met up with her on Saturday night, because we had Sunday off.

When we were walking down by the Charms hallway, I had learned something about her, something that could help me getting what I wanted.

Voldemort had cast a spell on Nancy a few years back. That spell only limited Nancy to having daughters. The reason that spell was on her was because she had wanted sons. She had said no to Voldemort and that is what the price was: not being able to have sons.

We walked into a broom closet and… I am such a horrible prat! I had taken Lily's trust and threw it down the toilet! What have I done?

Afterwards, I went back to the Head's dormitory to tell Lily. I know what you're thinking. Tell Lily that I had slept with another person only a few minuets it had happened. I had to tell her no matter what! Lily and I promised each other that our relationship would be an honest one. 

I had entered the dormitory and Lily jumped into my arms with "fantastic news" as she had said.

Lily was pregnant with my baby.

That wasn't supposed to happen yet! No, not until we were married! I think I am going to tell Lily later but for now, I am going to savor the moment that I am going to be a father.

I have been told the worst news ever. Nancy is pregnant with my baby too. What am I going to do? Am I going to be with Lily? Lily, the woman I love and have the possibility of having a daughter. Or, should I choose Nancy? The woman I hardly know and whom I made my first major mistake with, and have a daughter no matter what. I have no idea what I am going to do.

I made my decision. I know who I am going to choose. I told Lily I'm sorry, but I did not want to be in our baby's life, and I did not want anything to do with it.

Lily cried so hard, that it broke my heart to know that I hurt her so much. She said that there was no way she was going to kill it. She said that if I'm not going to be in the baby's life, I'm not going to be in her life. Lily stormed out of the dormitory, and I collapsed. I made 2 more mistakes which leads me up to 3 mistakes. First, I slept with Nancy. Then, I had chosen Nancy over Lily. My third mistake was that I let Lily slip through my fingers.

We were now out of school. Nancy and I had moved into our own flat. The last time I had seen Lily was at our graduation. That was it.

It was February 15th, one day after Valentine's Day. Nancy is due with our daughter any day now.

Frank Longbottom had his wish granted. His wife- Alice Longbottom- gave birth to a daughter 3 months ago and they named her Ashley. They had been telling me about Lily and about the mistake I had made for leaving Lily. I knew leaving Lily was a horrible mistake. It is a mistake I could not undo just by saying "Hey Lily, I'm sorry. Please take me back". It was not that simple.

Lily gave birth yesterday, on Valentine's Day all by her self. Lily had a baby girl. Lily was the mother of my daughter, just like I had always planned, but I messed it up. I messed it up big time.

Nancy was breathing deeply and gripping her stomach. She said that the baby was on the way. I was going to have a daughter to take care of. I grabbed her gently and guided her to the hospital.

I was sitting in the waiting room, hoping that Nancy and our daughter- we decided to name her Michelle- would be alright.

A healer came over to me, looking grim. He had told me that Nancy's body wasn't ready to give birth and there were many complications with the delivery. Nancy had died of blood loss. He had also told me that umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby's neck, and it was strangled to death. I had lost them both on the same day. He gave me his sympathy and walked back to his work while I apparated away to tell Remus and Sirius the news.

Two years just seemed to fly by. 

I sold the flat that Nancy and I shared and moved in with Sirius and Remus. They had been taking care of me while I moped about loosing Nancy, Michelle, Lily, and Tara. I had recently learned that Lily named our daughter Tara Rose Evans. What a beautiful name for a beautiful baby. Remus had shown me a picture of her since he was her godfather.

Tara looks exactly like Lily, but she had my eyes. I loved that baby and the natural beauty that she held. Even though I would not be in her life, I would love her no matter what I do.

I have seen Lily today at the Three Broomsticks. She looked so beautiful, yet she held a sad, pained look. Her body seemed to tense as I walked over to her. I told her I just wanted to talk, and I wanted to hear about our daughter. Lily bowed her head and told me stuff that I had not known.

Now that Tara was 2 years old, Lily joked that she had to baby proof the house. Why, just the other day, Tara had grabbed the cat's tail and cat ran away as fast as he could go and ran under the couch. It wasn't that funny, but when you hear Tara's laugh ring through the room, it is very hard not to laugh.

I smiled sadly and Lily looked sincerely at me. She asked the magic question. She asked if I wanted to see my daughter. My head bobbed up and down so fast and so hard that I thought my glasses would fly off.

When we arrived at the house, I realized that Lily wasn't joking when she said to baby proof the house. Tara was running around everywhere she could go. As soon as we were inside, she ran towards me and hugged my legs. I chuckled as Lily paid the babysitter.

I picked up my daughter and held her in my arms. She was just so tiny for 2 years old! I love her so much, and there was no way I could ever stop. Lily smiled at me and we started to play with Tara until she fell asleep on the floor, which was about 2 hours later. 

I was the one who picked up my daughter and carried her into her room and put her gently in her crib. Lily led me out of the room and shut the door gently as we walked to her room to show each other how much we still love her.

The next morning, I left to go home and Lily thought that was a good idea. She thinks Tara won't be ready for someone to stay the night. I flooed home and explained to an anxious Sirius and Remus of my whereabouts last night. They laughed and patted me on the back as we left to go to work.

Lily told me she was pregnant again. I sweared out loud as Lily comforted me. She said that she wasn't ready to take care of another baby and asked if he would like to take care of him. We knew it was a boy, because Lily was 5 months along. The baby was to be due on the last day of July: July 31st. 

I asked her if she was sure, and she told me not to worry; I can handle a little baby.

Remus and Sirius were ecstatic when I told them. A little baby will be here soon, and it was just so cute. Hey, don't look at me like that, that is what Sirius had said. I believe that his exact words were "A little Prongsie around? Aw that is just so cute!" Yes, I do know that my friend has head problems, but oh well. I'm just glad I won't be alone when I take care of the baby. Pain shot through my brain. Lily was alone when she raised Tara, was she not? Yes, she was alone. If Lily can do it, then so can I!

I was now taking care of my new son. Lily and I came up with a name together that is just perfect for the little baby. His name is Harry James Potter, and he looks exactly like me, except he has Lily's eyes. Now, Lily and I think that is quite weird. Tara is the exact opposite of her brother.

Harry is now 3 months old. He was just so adorable. Sirius loves that he is the godfather of the Marauder son. I rolled my eyes at that comment. Like I said, Sirius is very weird. 

I was feeding Harry when Remus came walking into the room. He said that Sirius was going to be late and not to wait to eat supper with him. Sirius and I switched places. What I mean is Sirius and I take turns going to work. If it is really necessary, both of us go into work but I don't like that. I like being with my son as much as I can. Remus takes care of Harry when Sirius and I can't. 

All of a sudden, Sirius came into the room looking grim. Marlene McKinnon was murdered by Voldemort and everyone else was sent home. Sirius looked like a wreck and you could tell that he had been crying. Remus and I ran over to him and hugged him closely and tightly. Sirius was planning on proposing to Marlene, because they had been dating for a while now. I just hope nothing bad will happen so Harry can grow up as normally as possible.

Harry just turned 9 and I am just so excited. He is showing sines of magic. Isn't it just absolutly wonderful? I think so, but I am his father, so of course _I_ would think so.

I sighed sadly as I watched my son turn the TV on and off again and again. Tara is now 11 years old and she is in her 1st year of Hogwarts. Well, she's there now, I mean it is November so, yeah, she is. I just wish Lily and I were together and married, and then I could tell my daughter how much fun Hogwarts is and to keep away from boys and to study hard, and to keep away from boys, and to tell the teachers who your parents are and they will finally be glad that a prankster will be there again, and keep away from boys. Oh, I forgot, I would also tell her to keep away from boys. They are nothing but trouble and only have 1 thing on their minds. That will _not _be my daughter, no sir. My daughter will teach those boys a lesson or 2 about the Potters.

Harry is now gone for Hogwarts, and he promised me to write about himself at least twice a week.

I just now got a letter from him, and he is in Gryffindor along with Tara. My daughter was in Gryffindor, but also the best student in Transfiguration. I miss my baby so much! I told Harry to have fun and to write back soon. I told him I love him and I also told him to tell McGonagall Sirius, Remus and I said "hi" and that we miss her. I also told him to tell us what her facial reaction was.

Harry is in his 5th year, and he is cramming for the O.W.L.S. He says that if he fails the Potions and the Charms O.W.L.S., then he won't be qualified to be an auror. I told him not to worry, he will pass them. He told me that Tara was in auror training already. _My _baby was going to be an auror? Does she know how dangerous that is? I really don't think she does. I told Harry to keep on studying and Harry went up to his room, sensing that I did not want to be on the subject any longer.

When I told Remus and Sirius about Tara's ambitions to be an auror, the comforted me by patting me on the back and they reassured me. They said that Tara was a big girl, she is 17 years old, and she will be fine. She is old enough to make her own decisions, which I agreed with them, but she is _my _baby. My first baby and my only baby girl. They hugged me and said that she is will be just fine. I really do hope so.

Harry is now 17 years old and he is out on auror training too. Both of my babies are aurors. Tara is now 19 years old, today. Yes, it is indeed Valentines Day, and I had special plans for today.

I told Sirius and Remus that I will be out with Lily again today. Lily and I started dating again last year. Next month will be our 1 year anniversary. I planed to propose to her today. It was going to be perfect. It just had to be.

Anyway, I walked out the door and I apparated to Lily's house. When I knocked on the door, my mind started to wander to the conversation Lily and I had had a while back. I was going to be involved in Tara's life, only after 19 years, but better late then never, right? 

Well, Lily opened the door with tears streaming down her red face. She was crying and that had broken my heart. I held her in my arms and led her to her couch to ask her what was wrong. As soon as the response came out of her mouth, I wish that it had not: I was wishing that it was not true.

You see, Tara was on a mission and she was supposed to be back today. The key word is _was_. You see, Bellatrix Lestrange had murdered Tara. Bellatrix had murdered my daughter. _My _daughter is dead. Both of my daughters are dead. Michelle died when she was a baby and my first baby died when she was 19 years old because a death eater was faster than her. I couldn't stand it, I just couldn't.

I just can't believe that Tara is dead. It can't be right. I am going to wake up from this nightmare because of her screaming and crying in the night. When I wake up, Lily and I am going to be married and Tara will only be a few months old. It has to be that way. Now, I am crying and can barely see what I am writing.

Yes, what you have just read and what you are reading now is my journal of what happened in my life, first stating that I have always wanted a daughter. I have been sitting at Tara's grave in Godric's Hallow for about 2 hours straight now, writing all of what you have just read. Reading about all my wants and all that I thought, all my dreams, all of my everything that made me, me. Plus, all of my mistakes that I had made for my dreams to come true, and how the same mistakes brought all my dreams crashing down, never allowing my daughter to see the light of day again or to breathe fresh air ever again. You may think and blame who or what ever you want, but I blame the stupid mistakes I had made just because I didn't think. The stupid mistakes that cost the life of 3 innocent girls who got in my way. Please, if you took the time to read all of this, you must read this next part, because nothing is as more important as this. Think before you act, because you might save a life.

**So, what did you think? I know this is really long, but I really like it. I hope you did. It is really long now. I'm sorry it's out so late, but our computer mouse stopped working and we had to buy a new one. It works now and it is really cool looking. Anyway, I am sorry if the ending is bad, I tried to get it better, but it wouldn't do it. Now that I reread it, I like it. I am sorry for the grammar and spelling errors I made in this story, truly I am. ** **Please review and tell me what you think! Like I said up there, I do not any of the characters that you recognized. Review please!**


End file.
